Wednesday, October 25, 2006
I don't know who my friends are, I no longer know how to help them
"some things just aren't meant to be understood..."
-10/24/2006
"...I couldn't be more heartbroken right now."
-10/24/2006
More and more I find there is a serious diconnect between myself and the people I love. I can't say exactly when or how this happened but I can feel my friends falling away from me, making their own in-roads into adulthood, experiencing loss, serious adult problems, money, substance abuse and through it all, where the fuck am I?
I'm so overwhelmed by the sheer tonnage and realness of the things my friends are experiencing that I don't know what to do.
I go so long without speaking to my friends because of life and work and stress that by the time I I re-enter the amosphere I feel as though I have no place to to try to awkwardly re-insert myself into their lives.
Most of all, I hate myself because I know I'm just going to sit and here and feel bad about it and not do anything. What could I do?
Its so much and I'm not sure I could ever be any real help.
I'll wear my weakness tonight.
"I let you down."
-Udbhav
-10/24/2006
"...I couldn't be more heartbroken right now."
-10/24/2006
More and more I find there is a serious diconnect between myself and the people I love. I can't say exactly when or how this happened but I can feel my friends falling away from me, making their own in-roads into adulthood, experiencing loss, serious adult problems, money, substance abuse and through it all, where the fuck am I?
I'm so overwhelmed by the sheer tonnage and realness of the things my friends are experiencing that I don't know what to do.
I go so long without speaking to my friends because of life and work and stress that by the time I I re-enter the amosphere I feel as though I have no place to to try to awkwardly re-insert myself into their lives.
Most of all, I hate myself because I know I'm just going to sit and here and feel bad about it and not do anything. What could I do?
Its so much and I'm not sure I could ever be any real help.
I'll wear my weakness tonight.
"I let you down."
-Udbhav
# posted by Matt Record @ 1:06 AM 
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You know, I think that by simply making the observation about people you love is a virtue in itself. I know you well enough to know that you put in plenty of time and energy to think about what everyone else must be struggling with in their own lives, let alone the effort when it's necessary. Don't humble yourself Matt; you are one of the most purely thoughtful people I have ever known, and I am thankful for you. You may not be in the loop, so to speak, but you are definitely in my heart.
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# posted by 
: 11:47 AM
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